Chemical Muscle Uncensored
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You’ve Been Warned!
Welcome to the Jungle
Hey everyone how the Fuck are ya? That’s right you are going to be in for a real treat with my column. If you are looking to find out the latest, greatest, and hottest news in the industry with a truly UNCENSORED approach then you have come to the right place. I am telling you now if profanity, hardcore steroid and drug info, SEX, vulgarity, and the reality of what goes on in the bodybuilding scene offends your delicate soul then Leave Right Now…you’ve been warned! But if you want to satisfy every carnal desire you ever dreamed of, plus a hell of a lot more then I welcome you to the one place that is going to blow your fucking mind. So with that said let’s get down to business and break balls like never before!
The Top 5 Worst Steroids for a Sloppy Dick!
Q: I am looking to do my first cycle and was wondering if you could help me with some info. I am not scared of any of the side effects except one…a sloppy dead dick! What are the worst steroids that affect libido in a negative way? Can you let me know more about which drugs that can negatively affect my sex drive because this is something I do not want to deal with. I want a dick that I can crack coconuts with not one that resembles a wet noodle.
Mikey “Kong Dong” Johnson
A: All right boys Dr.X is here to drop an atomic bomb on you right from the start. Oh, yea I am gonna come at you like a freight train that just rolled off the tracks going a hundred miles per hour. Facts are facts and if you have been around the block and are a veteran steroid user or even if you have only done a few cycles under your belt, many of you reading this have suffered from S.D.S. or what is known as “Sloppy Dick Syndrome”.
Let’s be frank here there is nothing more beloved to a bodybuilder than his cock and his steroids. Hell, a lot of you guys reading this might not want to admit it, especially not to your boys, and definitely not to your lady friends. But the reality is if you use steroids there will be times when your dick doesn’t want to stand up and salute you like the fuckin champ you want him to be.
My Dick has Fallen and It Can’t Get Up!
You know how it is.
You slap that bad boy around to the left, shake it to the right, you twirl it around like a fucking baton between your fingertips and you get no response.
Hell, you could beat it off your forehead a few times, and still, it resembles a lifeless piece of man-flesh staring back at you. Then you start talking to your cock like he is your best friend. “Come on little buddy get up, do something, I got a fucking hot date tonight and this is going to ruin my whole life if you don’t perform like John Holmes.”
For all the guys reading this that have experienced it I know you are all laughing your ass off right now. It’s one of those things that are funny in hindsight but when you are going through it you would rather have your foot chopped off. But the good thing is that you are not alone. And best of all I’m here to help!
It can get so irritating you feel like using defibrillator paddles you find in the ER room on the fucking thing and still, it would just lie around like your useless fat fucking ex-wife, (that lazy bitch), and there is nothing to bring it back to life.
So since I am going to hit you below the belt on this one it’s time to take a look at what steroids will make your Man Meat sink faster than the Titanic!
Deca Durabolin (Nandrolone Deconate)
Now this drug is known as a dick killer for many who use it. This is no secret as this has been well known for several decades. Hell, that is why so many guys refer to the problem as “Deca Dick”. Now there are some guys who can run Deca in large amounts without consequence. I am talking about 800 to 1200mg per week and their dick is perfectly fine. But for some guys they can run as little as 400mg per week and their dick starts to shrivel away like a December swim in Lake Erie. It’s like the little fucker wants to hibernate for a long hard winter only to show up again months later.
Now for most guys, this simply isn’t cool because nothing shoots down a male’s self-worth like a soft cock!
Oh as brutal as it may sound at least you know when I talk it’s the real deal not some Hollywood bullshit love story. So if Deca seems to shut you down then my advice is to walk the fuck away and use EQ instead. You will find many of the same benefits and the strain it puts on your boloney pony will be much easier to bear.
Deca Dick is not an Urban Legend so Beware!
Now many guys don’t know this but Winny is also a cockblocker extraordinaire. I see this with so many guys especially these Jersey Shore type-fucking clowns that want to look good at the beach come summertime. You hear them in the gym talking to their retard buddies about how they are going to use a little Winny to help get all lean and cut up for summer. Now what a lot of these morons don’t know is that if you run Winny alone your cock will start to resemble a little Vienna Sausage. For those of you who don’t frequent a European deli, Vienna Sausages are these little tiny one-inch sausage links that they put in these little glass jars.
Nothing like having a ripped up beach body so all the chicks love you but once you get the panties off your little pint-sized pecker has the endurance of a 300- pound fat asthmatic slob in a 100-meter dash.
So as you can get a visual from the wonderful dick suppressing qualities this steroid can have when it is not used properly. I have seen this over and over believe me. This is not just some textbook info that I am laying on all of you here. Yes, there is sound scientific evidence to all of what I am saying but remember not everything that happens in a lab works exactly the same when it relates to some 260-pound freaky ass bodybuilder. In the lower doses when used with a Testosterone base there isn’t a lot of problems. But when guys are getting ready for a contest and then like to increase their dose into the 100-200mg per day of Winstrol, then even when running a decent amount of some ester of Testosterone guys can still run into problems. I know the dose I outlined above seems quite high but again I‘m bringing you the reality of what I have seen in the sport, not some fairy tale where your favorite pro with 23- inch guns built it with hard work and lots of chicken breasts.
Winstrol Can Kill your Libido if Used Improperly!
Fina (Trenbolone Acetate)
Ohh boy do I have a love affair with Tren. It is one of the most badass steroids on earth. It makes you hard, dense, lean… and Fucking Mean. Oh, yea you can sport the attitude of a real asshole when taking this one. Anyone that has used it in some decent doses, know exactly what I am talking about. The downside is that for some guys it can wreak havoc on your libido.
For some, it can make you totally not interested in even the most perfect piece of ass.
A lot of guys who use Tren before a contest simply relates to having a low sex drive at this time to be because they are really focused and their calories are low.
Yes, that can be part of the reason.
But the fact is Tren is the main reason why your dick would rather take a little siesta than to find some hot little Latin Mamacita and give her the fucking pounding of a lifetime.
Love me Some Latina’s
Boy do I know how to hit home or what! The problem with some poor guys that use Tren is that it not only can fuck up your mojo while you are using it, but this can last a couple of months after your cycle is over. You don’t know how many guys have come to me asking what to do for their dicks because it simply decided to have a mind of its own. If you didn’t run enough Test in your cycle to balance out your ratios properly or if you were one of those cheap fucks who didn’t do a proper PCT program once your cycle is over you can look forward to a sloppy dick that you wouldn’t be able to raise with a flag pole.
Primobolan Depot (Methenolone Enanthate)
Here is another anabolic that is popular among many bodybuilders as well as the “Closet Juicers”. Now you might be wondering what I mean when I say “Closet Juicers”. These are guys that either won’t tell anyone they are using anything and claim to be “Au Natural”. Or they’re those guys that have extreme paranoia and think if they even accidentally take even one Anadrol 50 tablet their liver will self destruct and this is why they like to use the tamest drugs available hence their Primo use. Now you may say to me that you used Primo and your dick worked just fine. Some might even say that they used Primo and their sex drive even increased. Now sorry to drop a little reality on your fucking heads but somebody has to do it. I am not going to candy coat anything for my readers.
Could my Primo be Fake?
Just to let you know that real Primobolan is very expensive. Since the premier Primo in the world comes from Turkey in the form of their Bayer amps you should all be aware of the cost. In my neck of the woods, a single 100mg ampoule goes on the street for 32 to 35 dollars each. Yeah, that’s right and these are prices that pro bodybuilders are paying who have a hook up that can only get them a couple dozen or so amps at a time. Now if you are getting your amps for half that price I just want to let you know what your buying isn’t Primo. Yea you could tell me that you have a solid hook up and your guy is one you trust cause he deals with your favorite NFL team, yadda yadda yadda. All I can say is….BULLSHIT! Just so you know that the majority of Primo amps on the market are fake. In my estimate, I would say at least 90 plus percent.
Primo is the most Counterfeited of all Steroids!
The reason why some of you are telling me that your sex drive is fine on Primo is the fact that you fucking clowns weren’t taking Primo. Most counterfeiters spike the amps with a small amount of Testosterone like 50 to 100mg. This way you feel something and instead, your sex drive goes up. This works out for the dirtbag that sold them to you cause Test is one-tenth the price of Primo and second you’ll come back again cause you actually gained 5 pounds during your cycle.
This is another steroid that can also wreak havoc on your meat stick more than you think. In my opinion, Anavar is a girls’ drug and unless you want to spend a ton of money on Anavar, you really don’t need it in your cycle. Anavar is another drug that is very expensive. Well, that is if you are buying real Anavar. I am going to drop another sidekick to the head of all you fuckers that think you can get it cheap. After Primo, Anavar is one of the most counterfeited drugs without a doubt. This is due to the fact that is a highly pursued drug because it appeals to women as well as the “Pussy Juicers”. Oh come on every gym across this land has “Pussy Juicers”. These are the guys that go online and know how to use Google. Yeah, they start to feel a little naughty and decide that they want to use steroids.
Never do Anavar Only Cycles!
But hey they could never inject themselves because in that little “Hartford, Connecticut” mindset of theirs they would feel like they would be on the same level as some heroin junkie that slams “brown sugar” in their veins morning, noon, and night. So they opt to go for a softer approach. And after Googling for several hours and reading forum posts of little ass clown 15-year-olds posing as an authority on steroids, they decide to go with something not too hardcore. The choice is Anavar! Hence the birth of another” Pussy Juicer”, who has now ventured into the dark side. Ohh boy what would his mother think?
Bad Advice = Sloppy Dick
Anyways after a few weeks on his Anavar only cycle, his cock doesn’t seem so frisky as it once was. Well maybe because he is studying for his BAR exam that could be why his sex drive is low? Maybe all the stress trying to keep a 4.0 GPA average, or the fact that Mommy didn’t buy him that new Mercedes SLS- AMG Roadster that he wanted so bad for his birthday. Now as you can see it’s not the tremendous hardships this poor soul has had to endure that is causing him his loss in sex drive.
It’s because of the Anavar he’s taking on the advice of some steroid forum fucktard that doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. Now another tidbit of info you all should know is like I mentioned earlier Anavar is one of the most counterfeited steroids on the market. You see when you have been juicing for a long time you know what feelings and side effects you should be getting from what you are taking.
So an experienced user will know that when you take Tren you get all hard, you have night sweats worse than a menopausal 45-year-old woman, and you have the aggression of a pit bull.
Now these “ Pussy Juicers” as I like to call them, have no ideas what they should be feeling. I see these guys all the time in the gym talking their shit acting like they know so much when in reality they don’t have a fucking clue. I heard one guy talking about how that 40mg of Anavar a day has helped him pack on 15 pounds over the last 2 weeks. Ok, ass clown what you are taking is not Anavar and most likely is Dianabol spiked capsules with a nice Anavar label on that underground bottle of shit you just bought. Again this is another column in itself and you can be sure that I will give you the 411 very shortly. Anavar is very weak when compared to other steroids so if you are gaining tons of weight and the pumps seem crazy, most likely what you bought… wasn’t what you thought.