Chemical Muscle Uncensored
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Welcome to the Jungle
Hey everyone how the Fuck are ya? That’s right you are going to be in for a real treat with my column. If you are looking to find out the latest, greatest, and hottest news in the industry with a truly UNCENSORED approach then you have come to the right place. I am telling you now if profanity, hardcore steroid and drug info, SEX, vulgarity, and the reality of what goes on in the bodybuilding scene offends your delicate soul then Leave Right Now…you’ve been warned.! But if you want to satisfy every carnal desire you ever dreamed of, plus a hell of a lot more then I welcome you to the one place that is going to blow your fucking mind. So with that said let’s get down to business and break balls like never before!
A Dose of Anabolic Revenge!
Q: Hey Dr.X it sounds like you have been in the game for a long time. I couldn’t believe the story about the wench that poisoned her husband’s gear to kill him. What is wrong with people nowadays? I was wondering what was the best revenge technique you ever heard of involving steroids? I am sure you have a ton of good stories but let’s hear one of your best ones.
A: Hey man there are a lot of really fucked up people in this world and the anabolic game is not immune to the number of losers that seem to gravitate towards it. Now when it comes to revenge I think my all-time favorite story is one musclehead over in England. A bodybuilder by the name of Dalwara Singh was most likely more tired of his wife than even the majority of us reading this column. He was married to this lovely gal for 17 years and had two children with her. I guess by that time he had just about enough of her constant nagging and bitching. To make the situation even worse rumors suggest that he caught her having an affair behind his back. Now is this true? To be honest I have no idea, as I am just letting you know what I have heard through the grapevine. Was this the last straw for Dalwara? He then began to concoct a plan that would be one that is funny as hell to us reading this, but not so funny for Mrs. Jaspreet Singh who ended up with the short end of the stick.
Dalwara at Court not giving a Flying Fuck!
Since Dalwara was an avid bodybuilder and seemed to love his steroids as every meathead does, he had a nice supply of strong androgenic drugs that helped build his body to a competitive level. What he began to do was grinding up these anabolic steroid tablets and started to sneak them into her food without her knowing that she just ate a Trenbolone sandwich. In fact, Dalwara wasn’t so kind and didn’t waste his time loading her up with female favorites like Primobolan or Anavar. He went right for the gold and wanted her to perform at her all-time best. So that is why some reports suggest he started loading her up with the two most popular mass and power drugs known to man… Yes, Anadrol and Dianabol.
Anadrol Revenge coming at you like BAM!
Yea he didn’t waste any time starting her at a lower dose to see if she would have any side effects and then jack up the dose. This is quite the opposite because he wanted her to have the worst side effects known to man in an uncontrollable manner. Now if you have been in the game for any amount of time then you know that Anadrol and Dianabol for women is a no-go scenario. In fact, these highly powerful androgenic steroids will basically turn any female into a man in a very short period of time. In fact, if a woman was given Dianabol and Anadrol she could look forward to a slew of side effects and many of them would, in fact, be irreversible. Yes, that is right and means once those bad boy side effects take hold good luck ever reversing that shit. So some of these include acne ( which is the nicest of the bunch) on her face and back. Hair loss on her head and hair growth on her face and body is another Anadrol special. While she will be losing hair on her head faster than a 40-year-old man, she will start sprouting hair on her face and back like a Persian teenage boy. She will also develop a thick manly chin and jawline. Yea the kind that is pronounced to bring on that Neanderthal look. Increased body odor is another one. Not something that is too attractive right there. The aggression resembling a pit bull is another trait all men love their wives to have. A deepened voice is guaranteed. But what will really turn you off is the massive clitoral growth and increased odorous vaginal secretions.
Women and Anadrol Don’t Mix!
The whole plot got uncovered when his 16-year-old daughter overheard him in his bedroom with a mortar and pestle grinding up the tablets into a powder so he could start dumping them in her food without her knowing. After some investigation, Mrs. Singh found a locked cupboard where he stored those anabolic goodies. So his bratty kid ratted him out to the police (she sounds like a sweetheart already) and then Dalwara was arrested at his home. In court, her lawyer made it out to the jury like she was some poor oppressed woman that her husband loaded her up with steroids only for the fact to keep her at home to cook, clean, and take care of the kids. The sides were kicking in nicely as she publicly complained of sprouting hair on her chin and back. Plus she was not amused that her hair started falling out by the handful. Yeah ok, that fucktard lawyer of hers makes a shit ton of sense right there and anyone with an IQ over 2 can figure out that is a load of horse shit.
Dianabol…The Breakfast of Champions!
I Smell Horse Shit!
If his only goal was to keep her homebound then why the fuck would he turn her into a hairy Sasquatch with the voice of Barry White and most likely raging all over the place with all that Anadrol running through her veins. Think about that for a second. If good old Dalwara wanted to keep her around wouldn’t he at least like to look at something attractive? Do you really think Dalwara would like to have sex with a she-beast behemoth that is sporting a beard? Why would he turn her into a fucking freak with more facial hair than ZZ Top and a clit the size of a ball frank wiener? No way is that the reason behind his sinister anabolic plot. I personally believe it’s much more than what her lawyer stated. Is it possible that he found her cheating and decided that not only would he get his revenge, but at the same time make her totally unfuckable for any man in the future? Good luck Mrs. Singh finding anyone that will tap that ass after your Manly Metamorphosis. That sounds like the real story, not the shit they will throw at you on Fox News. Sorry folks, at Chemical Muscle Uncensored we aren’t Sheeple that believe every bullshit story the media throws at you without looking a little deeper into the facts.
Not the kind of Voice you want your Baby’s Mama to have!
In the end, Dalwara was fined around $700 and put on probation but didn’t serve any jail time. He ended up avoiding the slammer and had to take some domestic abuse therapy sessions, and Mrs. Singh ended up with an upper lip that would make Tom Selleck jealous. In fact, she has a restraining order on him but for fuck sakes with the likes of how she’s looking these days I think this was the best Birthday gift Dalwara could have ever gotten. Talk about doing him a big favor.
I Fucking Loved Magnum PI
Now that is one fucking cool judge eh. The honorable Ebraham Chancey told him that he narrowly avoided jail time, but I think what many men who are suffering in a relationship thought was, “Fuck dude that was an ingenious Idea”. In court, Dalwara said that “he was deeply embarrassed and ashamed” but wait a minute the court didn’t let him finish his sentence. Maybe what he really meant is that he was embarrassed that he ever married that fucking Chewbaka and ashamed to show his face in public with this Circus Freak. That is more than likely what he meant. So this once romantic Bollywood love story now came to a bitter end. I guess we can wish Dalwara a bright future if he pursues his bodybuilding competitive dreams and I am sure his former wife can now apply to Barnum and Baileys Circus without any doubts she can roll with the best.